So perfectly imperfect....

Am I the only one????
Who food talks too?
It starts with the sweetest little voice,
"Miki.... get-up."
I can be in bed sound asleep and hear it. Is it my stomach? Is it my head? Is it both?...
"Miki...get-up, there is yummy chocolate pudding in the fridge..and lonely pickles too....cheese and... there's always room for jello." 
What? Why? and How? Do I let these voices survive and thrive?
 It happens in the car when I am by myself too,
 "Miki... you haven't had anything today...you were a bad planner today...just stop and go through the drive-thru....treat yourself... you'll walk it off later!"
STOP!!!!!
I have the mind of Christ!
 I have control of my thoughts, my mind and my actions. This is the time when I really feel ADDICTED! Like there is something wrong with me, why I allow FOOD to take over and win in soooo many instances. Is fasting the answer? I have done that before...giving up soda as a fast to pray and seek Gods face over an issue in my life...and guess what... at the end of the second year... I had my answer. It wasn't the one I wanted, but, I had my answer. Maybe, if I had given up something more substantial I would have gotten the answer faster! :) So, with this time of seeking...is fasting the answer? Would that give me peace and control? Maybe? It would most likely hit those pesky suckers head on....make the voices stronger for a bit, knowing that they are going to lose. It might give me victory...at night.

I am currently working a job that I don't like. Praise God for having a job! But, I don't like it. One reason is- I don't get off work until 7pm. It makes it very difficult for me to get home, make dinner and eat before 8:30 pm... I know it's all in the planning. But, if your going to bed at 10pm and your eating at 9ish.... it's all just to late...I do better if I eat at 5 or 6 and have a very lite snack at 8 or 9...then off to bed at 10 or 11.

I said in an earlier blog post- My addiction is distinctive from a drug addict or an alcoholic because they can just stop...and never go back....but, I WAS WRONG!  Someone who drinks....still has to drink...they just have to make the right choices to drink what is good for their bodies....to not get that high that they crave...same for a drug addict... If it's pills....and who among us does not have to take one kind of pill a day...even if it's vitamins... they have to take the right kind of pills in the right quantity...to make them healthy. No different. I have to make the right choices...the right decisions about how I fuel my body... To have the right mind set to make it through the day with out...chocolate and cheeseburgers. To make a conscious choice to have this and not that!

My wonderful husband, Dan...is a old school dieter like the rest of us...but, he is very disciplined when it comes to counting everything that he puts into his mouth. Saturday morning.... I had a sausage croissant and hash rounds from Hardee's.... After I enjoyed it, Dan... whom did not have the unhealthy breakfast...looked up the fat grams for me online.... annnnnnddddd(drum roll)..58 grams of FAT!!!! Oh.... my.... I thought I'm going to be sick...I mean....it was good...but... WHAT? Did it even weigh 58 grams? Was it 100% total fat? Like I could have just eaten a stick of butter? Disgusted....I am sorry God.... I used to eat that at least 3 times a week for breakfast.... What craziness!

Have you ever watched the 500lb.+ people shows on cable? They will show a man or woman that weighs 500+lbs. and put out a spread in front of them of what they consume in a day.... as I sit there watching what is in front of them...I would say, in my mind-"If I ate all that, I would weigh 900 lbs. next month!" I am fine because I don't eat all that!"  I do not consume near as much as they do and was still progressively gaining weight.... my metabolism is busted! It's because of what I have been using as fuel in my body. I have to put good things in to have the engine get re-started.  I was at my Dad's yesterday and he just bought himself a new toy.... a blue Cooper Mini... it's very cute! He took me for a spin... It's the racing model and it goooooes faaasssstttt! Six speed....go cart...with airbags everywhere to make it safe! I am sure that he puts a high octane fuel in it....for it to maintain performance. Why do I-GET IT with cars...but when IT comes to my body...I don't treat IT the same? Time to change!


Ok....I weighed yesterday and did not lose anything... stayed the same... Kinda made me a little sad...but, I know that I didn't gain and I have still lost 11 lbs in 2 weeks. I maintained what I had lost the week before. I was not as disciplined as I should have been, but, still kept walking! I am loving the cooler night air.... and my little hill. I am seeing a difference from when I first started walking...I am not as winded at the top.... That's good! Progress!

I love these pictures.... They are friends that can't do without each other...before they met... they were lonely...now they are inseparable..... Lesson: as long as the monkey on your back is your friend...looking out for you-it's a good thing!