"Grey haired Woman"

I was described this past week as- "a grey haired woman".... and for some weird, messed up reason in my head- it made me sad? Why? It made me feel old... Why? I wasn't that much older than the day before. It made me want to color my hair- why? Do "leading ladies" have grey hair? Helen Marin does. Jamie Lee Curtis does. She even advocates for being who you are - at the age you are.

Up until that day... I liked the look of my grey hair. Silver has always been one of my favorite colors. My dad called them -"clear" hairs (because he wasn't old enough for grey hair! Ha!).  My Mom always has had pretty grey hair.  I am 47. That's old enough. Right? Grey hair is now a trend among the youth. In the bible it talks about our hair as our crown of glory... It also says that grey hair is a sign of wisdom. I don't know or think I look any wiser or more glorious with my grey locks. They are getting more plentiful as the days roll on. I do look older... Is that bad? Shouldn't I be looking older? I am older. I had a pastor many years ago, who would pray that his hair would not turn grey.... I would giggle when he said it, I really don't know why it was such a priority for him? To make it part of your prayers to God?  Other than vanities sake. I'm sure had he lived a long life , he would have looked great with grey hair. He was a man full of wisdom.

I still have a box or 2 of hair color that I have had for over a year... I may still go back to dirty blond- sorry Jamie Lee! But, I do think grey hair is beautiful, it's a unique sign of the time of our lives. I think sometimes it's Gods way of saying in the mirror to us that we have grown. It maybe him preparing me for the sign of small wrinkles showing up near my eyes. They seem to be sneaking into that mirror more often - even in low light! I think we should be proud of what God designed in us, on us and around us. We are His workmanship, however He chose to put us together.

Rejoice in the Lord - always and again I say- REJOICE!

So next time you see me, I guess I'm good with you saying... "There's that grey haired wise woman!"- see I added the "wise" in there!

The Deep End

It's  TIME.... another new start, fresh beginning, new adventure. I quit my retail job... the last day was yesterday. Today as I woke up to fix breakfast... I looked at this perfect egg and thought: Today just like everyday is a perfect un-cracked egg. Full of potential. Possibilities. What I chose to do with it is up to me. I am the chef, baker or quick order cook. Once the egg is cracked, I decide what it is going to be- an ingredient in a recipe I haven't yet tried? (sounds chancy!), Scrambled eggs with cheese (a fav of mine), Fried over easy (which is Dan's favorite!), or, a humble ingredient in brownies for bible study night.

As many of you know, Dan and I became house parents to a man named Jamie about a year and a half ago. We both have taken it in stride (laughter and love can get you through anything!).... it has been a challenge. We realized in that time that Jamie needed much more support and assistance then we had originally thought. The final straw breaker was that one evening a few weeks back- Jamie caught the new microwave on fire, while we were gone to the grocery store. His story was- that it self combusted. Jamie has been known to confabulate just a little lot. *wink* The story changed quite a bit over the next hour or so....
1. He was testing it- knowing that it was going to catch on fire.
2. He was just walking by and saw flames in the kitchen.
3. He wasn't cooking anything and just turned it on.... and there was flames.
4. He was heating vinegar to clean the microwave- it was only on 2 minutes.....  
and the list goes on and on............

So, today I am Jamie's primary care worker. This is not something I am trained in.... but, it is my new job.  I truly have been in training for a year and a half... oh yeah, and 25+ years in retail management has to count for something. I will be Jamie's driver, errand runner, doctor note taker, med giver, disciplinary advise giver.... plus+

Last week on my way to work... I was praying and thanking God for my blessings.. I started saying to God- are You sure that I can handle all this? I heard in my mind : "Always for more, never for less." I know that in changing jobs financially it is going to be less. But, there are so many other areas where it will be for MORE! I felt like the reasons are beyond me.... beyond my simpleness.
 I had been asking for a "push" from God...
 and maybe He just has to put me into a place that I can't quite touch the bottom of the pool...
 a place where I have to trust Him for my well being and safety to fully comprehend  relying on Him.

The song below came on the radio that day, it spoke to me...

 "Beyond Me"- Toby Mac

Call it a reason to retreat, I got some dreams that are bigger than me. I might be outmatched, outsized, the underdog in the fight of my life...
 Is it so crazy to believe?
That You gave me the stars, put them out of my reach, Called me to waters a little too deep. Oh, I've never been so aware of my need. You keep on making me see... 
It's way beyond me
Anything that I got the strength to do. In over my head keeps me countin' on You. I'm leaving the sweet spot, sure shot,  tradin' it all for the plans You got...
 Is it so crazy to believe?

 You take me to the place where I know I need You, straight to the depths that I can't handle on my own and Lord I know, I know I need You...
 So take me to Your great unknown...
It's way beyond me, w-way beyond me.

Sometimes God puts us in a place that we don't really understand or know why or what He is up too??? We have to TRUST Him. He is God and He has got it. He has got US. We are the broken pots He chooses to use... Thank Jesus that through Him we are made perfect in His sight... gleaming brilliant eggs.... perfect  and ready for His recipe.

God Bless,
Miki :)