Go with the Flow or Rigid Discipline?

Are you a "Pre-Planner" listing out everything and getting a sense of accomplishment with every last thing you mark of your never ending list? Or are you a "fly by the seat of you pants" kinda person... Happy go lucky , who always seems to just have things work out for you...no matter if you plan or not?  I am a planner in some ways and a non-planner in other ways. I can be a strict disciplined person in certain areas and in others I find it very hard to do.

 I have always associated strict discipline with disappointment. (My mind is messed up there I know!) It comes from many years of making a plan and then things not working out in the end. Sometimes things just don't go the way you planned them to go. Above all, I hate to disappoint someone else because of my lack of planning. So most of the time I plan, and plan, and make a list, and then lose that list, and then plan again and make another list, and check those plans, and so on, and so on..... It's stressful. I don't like it.

So...how do I get out of that rut? Pre-plan for things that I do have some kind of control over. Like my eating for the week. My exercise for the week. Because in these areas I was always a, "fly by the seat of my bigger and bigger pants kinda gal".... Not good! Planning makes you think about what you are going to take in. Plan on going to the local Farmer's Market on the weekend for the week...and take it home to pre-pair...clean, cut and put in bags or containers for easy fixing during the week ahead.

I have had a request to put some good recipes on the blog and I will soon! If any of you readers have a good healthy hardy recipe...please get it to me email DMKMiki@yahoo.com or leave it as a comment... with calorie and fat/carb count per serving would be great!

;) Miki

Our God is an Awesome God!

As we all close in on the final months of this 2010, we will all start looking back at what the year included for each one of us. For me, it was a fresh start in many areas like: my job, my home, and my weight. Although, I did get a late start on that last one! It has been challenged to Dan and myself to loose 50 pounds before Christmas. I would say...no problem, that will be easy! BUT, the holidays are almost upon us and all I can say is God is great, He is helping me on this path and I will do the best I can to not make bad choices!

As you all know, I started this blog with posting my weight and letting you and ME know how I was going to look at this MOUNTAIN facing me in the mirror. I have had GREAT weeks and not so great weeks and I can say.... I am IN it to WIN it! On my not so great weeks...I still ate okay...not great...and I didn't exercise. I know how much better it makes me feel when I do.... I sleep better, over-all feel better and it makes you think about what you are putting in this body to FUEL the machine.

OK- confession time. I currently weigh 369. I have only lost 12 lbs. since I started. I know that this is 12lbs. that I have not carried around for the last 2 months... but, I feel like I am still totally focused and need just that little push to get my engine reved up again.

Last night as I got off work- I grabbed the dog and started walking... I love the fall coooolll weather! Love it, love it, love IT!!!! I am in at least 3rd gear and am hitting it up this week. Hopefully, my hours at work will be changing soon and I will be on an earlier shift, and that will help too. Also, I am going to write down all I eat this week and make myself accountable.

On another note, Dan and I were chatting Sunday night.... as He is the Director of Anglicans for Life St. Louis and I said to him we need to come up with something that all the people we know would love to help with...just by shopping for a few things we could make a big impact. So...we decided that we would start a "Thanksgiving Homeless Bag Project". It entails gathering goods for a group to go out on Thanksgiving morning and hand out Downtown St. Louis to the homeless community. To share from our hearts and give of what we have to those who don't have in our community. We are placing toiletries and goodies in gallon sized Ziploc freezer bags for distribution. I am overwhelmed already with the response from family and friends for the event. It makes me happy to know that it just takes a plan and action to make things happen!

It's proof that with a God given idea...and getting the WORD out that it can happen. Kinda like what I am doing here.... Getting the word out that- Our God is an Awesome God! He can and will do above all we ask or even think. (I am thinking a size 18 sounds fabulous!)

I am giving it to you God- take it and use it- up!

Blessings +

Miki

"Which way did he go... Which way did he go?"

Everything we do comes down to the choices we make... To take this job or that one, to pay this bill, buy this thing, move here, be friends with this person, eat that, drive there, smile at your neighbour, pet your dog, take that pill, drink that drink, buy that lottery ticket, call your mom.... I could go on and on.... follow this dream or that... Or Not! Depending on the choices we give ourselves to make or the ones that life throws our way... We all make a million choices a day.

Starting with just opening our eyes to face the day. I understand what it's like to feel like- 'why did another day have to come... I have messed up so many I can't make this one any better... I will just stay in bed.' When Dan and I got married, I had been laid off from my job. We had moved the trailer he owned to a tiny town just south of East St. Louis, Illinois, and I was depressed.... I had no car, no money, no job, and nothing to do but clean a trailer that I didn't want to live in and be useless. We were edging closer to bankruptcy everyday and it was sucky. After we finally went broke and lost the trailer... We moved to an apartment, I got a job... Soon after we moved my Mom moved in with us for a year and during the same time his Mom for about 6 months... I was stressed out... But, God delivers us all out of our troubles. If your in a trial don't stop... Keep going and you'll make it through.

I said all that to say this - it is our choices we make that determine our outcomes...it can apply to eatting right, exercise, taking medicine, our career, home life, family..... It all comes back to what choices we make... What directions we go. Not to say that Gods mercy cannot get us through, but, we should be guided by his Spirit in us and not pushing away that "still small voice" that tells us, "be kind to that lady" "don't have sweet tea- just regular is fine" "don't cut that car off just because he is trying to get ahead of you."

My inner voice says things like that to me daily... The voice of God says to us daily in His word, You are precious to me, like a pearl of great price, a rare gem, fine gold... Treasured by me- you are mine- see yourself through my eyes, you are royalty to me, I desire to spend time with you, share your hopes and dreams with me. I want you to feel my love for you as you never have before. To know that I am with you. Always in all ways.

It comes back to decisions... Stop, learn, and listen.

Can we do it? Do we want it bad enough? Is it our passion? Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and change or will I use it to beat myself up? Is this an act of loving myself or self destruction? Am I choosing an act of faith or an act of fear?

Wow... Those are tuff! Some are from a book called, "The right questions" the author goes on to quote Anthony Robbins, "Quality questions create quality life."

As I get older I hope that wisdom follows me and I make more right decisions and less wrong ones.

A weight watcher leader once said, "Just because you ran a stop sign, does it mean you continue to violate all other traffic laws for the rest of the day? NO? Then why would you continue to make unhealthy eating choices after you made just one?"

a lot to chew on.... 4 fingers pointing back at me!

Oh man, she is up again!

I received this in an email from my Aunt Mary today and I thought you all might like to read it... It is my prayer for all my friends... That means you!

Your Up, Sister! "Oh, man she's up again! - let this be the devils cry when he hears our feet hit the floor in the morning!

Dear God- this is my friend, whom I love and this is my prayer for her...

Help her to live her life to the fullest you have for her.

Please promote her and cause her to excel above all her expectations.

Help her to shine in the darkest places, where we think it is impossible to show love.

Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most. Let her know it's then that you are walking for her, carrying her and keeping her safe in your arms.

Amen!
(if you are a boy insert 'him' for 'her' hehehe!)

I want you all to know that I am so greatful for your friendship... I am so blessed to know so many wonderful friends that are effecting the world around them for Christ! I hope that I can make you just as proud of me as I am of you. Each one of you is making an impact... Know that I see His kingdoms work in all you do. Pray strength for me as I am on this leg of my journey. I NEED IT!

Blessings+
miki

She has such a pretty face...

Wow, if I had a quarter for each time I heard that when I was a teen-ager. I would have a couple of extra bucks to play FROGGER with at Chesterfield Mall in the game room. Ahhhh....how times have changed. I was an over-weight child,teen, 30 something and now... I hate to say it...Middle-ager. When I was younger,  I thought I was fun and different enough that it really didn't matter that I was fat. I was a child of the 80's and wore big shirts with the collars up, leggings, skinny ties, hammer pants, neon colors, 2 tees shirts with the cuff rolled up and two pair of socks to match, had my hair cut off on one side and wore pearls with everything. I was cool. Or so I thought. During that time, my life at home was in disarray. My parents were in and out of love...or separated for most of my teen years and when I was 18 they got divorced. I spent a lot of time away from my house. I wanted to create a new environment for myself, but, I was afraid to branch out at the same time. I spent endless hours at the mall, church and with friends. Just so I would not have to spend time at home. At school and with my friends-I was the fun, chubby, pretty girl. I never had a date until the age of 30. OK, no date with any straight men. Not that I didn't fall in love, or so I thought, with a number of guys that didn't know I liked them and most likely didn't care to be anything other than friends. Some of which are still my friends today. I am thankful in many ways that I was never "involved" with any of them. I feel like most of my teen years I was protected. Protected and yet hurting myself with a wall of fat. I don't know if it was me protecting myself or if it was God keeping me safe...not that I didn't do some pretty stupid things along the way. But, I was safe behind this wall I built around me. I had something to blame, when people made fun of me. I was fat. I am fat.


As I went into my 20's, I became the righteous one. I would not do anything wrong(except overeating).... When my parents got divorced and my Mom and I moved out. My Mom needed a saviour. I was her balancing beam for quite a few years and then I decided that I didn't want to save her or myself... why was I trying so hard? I quit... She was going to do what she wanted and so was I. I had a large group of friends and did everything with and for them I could. It wasn't healthy although I learned a lot....I was co-dependant...with a capital C!

When I turned 30... I was sick of it....this life I had created was not going as I had dreamed...and I was single, lonely and fat. I started dating for the first time in my life. The place to go at the time was "on-line" - I was a BBW- big beautiful woman... looking for love! I found more than my share of creepy guys that were just looking for nothing but sex. I was a virgin and was not going to waste my time with them. It weirded me out to think that there were guys just cruising big girls for sex. I was even told by one that he hit on big ladies because they have low self esteem and it made it easier! What? CRAZY! But, it must have been true. I was known by my friends as the "First Date Queen"- because I knew on the first date if they were marriage material or not. My mom even told me I was just being to picky!

When I gave up on finding Mr. Right by myself..... and gave it to God is when I found him! He tells me how beautiful I am all the time and that he loves me..... He makes me feel special. I still see myself as a mess...most of the time...but, it helps to hear that you are special to someone.

Does everyone have a distorted self image? We see our surroundings and how people react to us...but do we truly see ourselves like others see us? The answer is no! We see a 1 dimensional portrait of ourselves in the mirror looking back at us... That's why we should really look at ourselves through the eyes of others who love us...no matter what. We have to be honest with how we feel....but, we should see ourselves through God's eyes. He loves us just because He made us....no strings.... and like a pastor friend of mine says, "God's not mad at you!" We need to get that.... what a concept.

R We R Parents?

It does seem that no matter how hard we try, we seem to become more like our parents the older we get. I am not just talking about how we look or what we say. It says in Proverbs to "train a child in the way they should go... and they will not depart from it." I've always heard this scripture applied to... going to church... learning the faith.... etc... It can be true, applied in other areas of our lives too. Did your mom say things like- "Waste not, want not!", "Clean your plate, there are children who are starving in the world." or worse yet... "Clean your plate or no dessert!" I don't know about you, but I still hear these words play over in my mind. I still feel guilty when I do not clean my plate. My husband used to say, "Send it to the starving kids in China!" I was not so bold. This and many others have instilled bad habits in my life when it comes to eating. My Mom had good intentions, when I was young we didn't have alot of money... So, she was not wanting to waste food. I still don't like to throw away food or not take home left-overs from the restaurant.

My love for food started young. My Mom is a southern comfort food cook- friend and lots of butter. My dad is a meat, potatoes, bread and butter kinda guy. I also had in the 2 houses next to ours- my mom's mom- a baker and next door to her my other grandma and gram pa- and she was a diner cook- lots of grease and always dessert. So, if my mom was fixing something we liked we went to a grams house.

I want to let you all know that in doing this new mission, this life change... I started this to get healthy because of many reasons...

1. I am having symptoms in my own body that I know I can change if I get it(my body) under control... such as hyper tension, type 2 diabetes, over all joint pain from caring all this extra weight.

2. I can see myself in how my parents health is deteriorating at the age of 65 when they should be out enjoying a wonderful life... They cannot, because they are just not well enough to do it. Here are a few to list: COPD, congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, fibro-myalgia, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, ESRD.....I could go on... but I won't.

3. If God is going to bless Dan and I with a child, I need to be healthier for that to happen. Either, having one or adopting.

It is my wish for all who read this that whatever your heart desires... Health, happiness, children...etc...That God will truly give you the desires of your heart.

Blessings+
Miki

Sparrow? Me? yeah right!

Luke 12:6-7 "What's the price of two or three pet canaries? Some loose change, right? But God never overlooks a single one. And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be intimidated by all this bully talk. You're worth more than a million canaries."

Do sometimes you feel like me and think....why, would I matter that much to God? Has He forgotten me? Does He hear me when I call? How does he answer? When does he answer? Why does he not answer? I have spent many years wondering what the answers were to these questions and others. I know that He does answer when we call.... it may not be the answer we want to hear..but He does answer all our cries. God has been listening.... to us all. He loves us each individual, all our faults and weaknesses. He knows exactly what we need to make us healthy. He knows what the desire is even before we do...to get healthy and stay that way.

Today, I was watching one of the Doctor shows on TV.... He challenged everyone watching to just drop 10 lbs. He chatted with the audience about what all the good outcomes if they would just do something to loose the 10lbs. The laws of the land where....

1. No more sugary drinks.
2. No snacks bigger than your fist.
3. No eating after 8pm...or 3 hours before you go to bed.
4. Keep moving.
5. Track your weight daily.

I think all of those are a good start! I have done some of these....and some more. He had a panel of experts, and each one had reasons for each thing. Each one had a reason that America's average weight has gone up 20lbs. in the past 10 years.

1. High fructose corn syrup.... in everything! Addictive!
2. Portion Control-that's a given....at least half any restaurant portion.
3. In-activity!
4. Addiction- use food as a drug.
5. Eat REAL food.
It all comes back to addiction... What we allow our bodies to crave and what we allow it to eat. WE ARE WHAT WE EAT!

Big is Beautiful.... I firmly believe that!

I have been a large- sized lady my whole life.... And up until the last few years was firmly on the side of the fence that....As long as your a healthy large-sized person.... no one has the right to tell you how you should be.  I have faced a few medical issues in the recent past and my doctor is very sweet and tells me that I should work on my weight...but that these issues are on your family line...so it would not matter if you weighed 150lbs. or 350lbs. you would still have to face these same issues. I believe that to be true also. BUT!!!!!! I know what feels comfortable for my body and what does not. This weight is not comfortable anymore. I could not walk through the entire grocery store or walk the mall with out breaking out in a sweat. That is NOT healthy! I am on this mission to find out what is healthy for me? It may not be what is healthy for you.

I was a store manager for a large-sized women's retail company for 20 years and I would be the first to tell you, "If you feel beautiful....then you look beautiful!" And beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. The models that are on the shows...like Americas Next Top Model are not the norm...they are all 5'11" or taller and about 100 lbs. I don't think that they look healthy..and as most older models will tell you....during their modeling days they were not healthy. Why do we continue to support a model type that is not a healthy look? Most of them are beautiful but.....not healthy. We need to start supporting a self image that is the norm...I loved that Dove Soap Campaign that had real women in it. It made me buy dove products, just support the "real women" initiative.  So, all you men out there...continue to tell all the women around you how great that they look....everyday in every way! We need to hear it!

Vacation is coming, YIPEEE!!!!

Dan and I are heading to visit friends in NC next week. I am so excited and can't wait for the fun of relaxing and catching up. I have some buddies staying with Smudge at or house. It's going to be so nice to spend the time with my Bunny(that's- Beau, Hunk, and Honey mixed together!)...not having to worry about things at home... too much!

 I will be starting a new workbook called- "Making Peace with your Past", I have to get through the first 2 chapters and I know I will be sharing some of my thoughts about it here. So, I hope I am really prepared for this journey. I have talked to other ladies that have been through this group study and have found it very releasing.... Giving parts of your old self to God and they have also said it is kinda like peeling an onion...layer by layer...(peeling onions makes me cry) I am sure this might be a cleansing/crying time to go through. Be pre-paired. It's messy in there....stuff has been hidden for quite a few years...

Honesty- Truth- Inspiration is what I am seeking.... On with the journey!


In case you all who are my blog readers wanted to know... I am a part of a Christian peer counseling group...of wonderful ladies. They are getting a Center of Women's Ministry together for Women to come and get free counseling - group and individually. It makes me proud to know these ladies...they are a great group - Dedicated to loving God with their whole hearts.

"Spread the Gospel where ever you go, and if you must- use words!"- St. Francis.

So perfectly imperfect....

Am I the only one????
Who food talks too?
It starts with the sweetest little voice,
"Miki.... get-up."
I can be in bed sound asleep and hear it. Is it my stomach? Is it my head? Is it both?...
"Miki...get-up, there is yummy chocolate pudding in the fridge..and lonely pickles too....cheese and... there's always room for jello." 
What? Why? and How? Do I let these voices survive and thrive?
 It happens in the car when I am by myself too,
 "Miki... you haven't had anything today...you were a bad planner today...just stop and go through the drive-thru....treat yourself... you'll walk it off later!"
STOP!!!!!
I have the mind of Christ!
 I have control of my thoughts, my mind and my actions. This is the time when I really feel ADDICTED! Like there is something wrong with me, why I allow FOOD to take over and win in soooo many instances. Is fasting the answer? I have done that before...giving up soda as a fast to pray and seek Gods face over an issue in my life...and guess what... at the end of the second year... I had my answer. It wasn't the one I wanted, but, I had my answer. Maybe, if I had given up something more substantial I would have gotten the answer faster! :) So, with this time of seeking...is fasting the answer? Would that give me peace and control? Maybe? It would most likely hit those pesky suckers head on....make the voices stronger for a bit, knowing that they are going to lose. It might give me victory...at night.

I am currently working a job that I don't like. Praise God for having a job! But, I don't like it. One reason is- I don't get off work until 7pm. It makes it very difficult for me to get home, make dinner and eat before 8:30 pm... I know it's all in the planning. But, if your going to bed at 10pm and your eating at 9ish.... it's all just to late...I do better if I eat at 5 or 6 and have a very lite snack at 8 or 9...then off to bed at 10 or 11.

I said in an earlier blog post- My addiction is distinctive from a drug addict or an alcoholic because they can just stop...and never go back....but, I WAS WRONG!  Someone who drinks....still has to drink...they just have to make the right choices to drink what is good for their bodies....to not get that high that they crave...same for a drug addict... If it's pills....and who among us does not have to take one kind of pill a day...even if it's vitamins... they have to take the right kind of pills in the right quantity...to make them healthy. No different. I have to make the right choices...the right decisions about how I fuel my body... To have the right mind set to make it through the day with out...chocolate and cheeseburgers. To make a conscious choice to have this and not that!

My wonderful husband, Dan...is a old school dieter like the rest of us...but, he is very disciplined when it comes to counting everything that he puts into his mouth. Saturday morning.... I had a sausage croissant and hash rounds from Hardee's.... After I enjoyed it, Dan... whom did not have the unhealthy breakfast...looked up the fat grams for me online.... annnnnnddddd(drum roll)..58 grams of FAT!!!! Oh.... my.... I thought I'm going to be sick...I mean....it was good...but... WHAT? Did it even weigh 58 grams? Was it 100% total fat? Like I could have just eaten a stick of butter? Disgusted....I am sorry God.... I used to eat that at least 3 times a week for breakfast.... What craziness!

Have you ever watched the 500lb.+ people shows on cable? They will show a man or woman that weighs 500+lbs. and put out a spread in front of them of what they consume in a day.... as I sit there watching what is in front of them...I would say, in my mind-"If I ate all that, I would weigh 900 lbs. next month!" I am fine because I don't eat all that!"  I do not consume near as much as they do and was still progressively gaining weight.... my metabolism is busted! It's because of what I have been using as fuel in my body. I have to put good things in to have the engine get re-started.  I was at my Dad's yesterday and he just bought himself a new toy.... a blue Cooper Mini... it's very cute! He took me for a spin... It's the racing model and it goooooes faaasssstttt! Six speed....go cart...with airbags everywhere to make it safe! I am sure that he puts a high octane fuel in it....for it to maintain performance. Why do I-GET IT with cars...but when IT comes to my body...I don't treat IT the same? Time to change!


Ok....I weighed yesterday and did not lose anything... stayed the same... Kinda made me a little sad...but, I know that I didn't gain and I have still lost 11 lbs in 2 weeks. I maintained what I had lost the week before. I was not as disciplined as I should have been, but, still kept walking! I am loving the cooler night air.... and my little hill. I am seeing a difference from when I first started walking...I am not as winded at the top.... That's good! Progress!

I love these pictures.... They are friends that can't do without each other...before they met... they were lonely...now they are inseparable..... Lesson: as long as the monkey on your back is your friend...looking out for you-it's a good thing!

5 Karate Chops way down low....

As I lay in bed last night, after not sleeping to well for a couple of nights, my lower back was really cramping; I said to my wonderful husband- who always is so sweet to rub all of my aches and pains. "I could really use 5 Karate Chops...way down low." He being the gracious giver....comes a little closer and in his deepest voice says, "Karate Chop, Karate Chop, Karate Chop, Karate Chop, Karate Chop!" He is so funny...made me laugh out loud! Oh...the fun we have. He is silly! I love him truly!

Be careful what you ask for - cuz, sometimes you'll get exactly that thing! I asked God to help me with this battle of weight, and, if He would be so kind as to make it an instant miracle... I would be ever grateful.(We are so goofy sometimes...I know God laughs at us and shakes His head- saying, "Oh my creation- It is good!)) In the past, I have actually prayed for God to change my body chemistry. Mix-up my metabolism. Make my body a fat burning machine. Make it like someone who was born into a thin family, with thin genes. Make it like a body builder who burns calories at such a high rate that they can't take in enough. Make it work...different.... I had actually heard of a church that people whom were over weight were going in and losing 100 lbs in church... a IN YOUR FACE MIRACLE! I would ask Him...why not me God... I have been good. I had also toyed with the idea of a weight loss surgery. (I have never even had stitches- but I was willing to go under the knife because I can't control my eatting?- That's nuts!) Plus, I have friends that have had it done and almost died from it.(I love ya Vick- and am so thankful you are still here with us! God answers prayer!) So far Gods answer to me has been...you have feet and legs that work...I made them...now you have gotta take the steps.

 Happy Friday all...We have made it through another week together. I had a few minor set backs this week. BUT, I am here standing and it's FRIDAY!!!!! I am amazed since leaving retail for a cube job...what Friday really means. I always would hear others say..."I am so happy Friday is here!"- I didn't know what they meant...especially on a holiday weekend. TGIF!

Hey Lady, Your 18 hours are up!

I saw a lady today that needed to take another look in the mirror before she left the house....Let me first say... I worked in Large-sized women's retail as a manager for 20 years. And, not to brag (LOL- as if you could be jealous) I am a professional bra fitter...trained and certified. I have seen it all, from ladies who feel that they don't have to wear a bra because they are too small to fit in one...to the exact opposite of ladies whom are too large and feel that there is not one large enough to fit them. Attention all ladies: *cough-cough**... Wear a bra- that fits! We don't need to see all that you have to offer spilling out at us...or how cold it may be to you today.  And I am the first one to say....if you have lost weight or it has been more than 6 months since you purchased a new bra- go out right now and buy a new one.

So, in saying all that....We moved 2 months ago and when we did,  I was wearing a old favorite bra---- it is made of tee-shirt fabric...comfy cotton knit and I love it. BUT---- also when we moved. I had a load of laundry in the dryer that the most convenient thing to put it in was a big black trash bag...so, I did. As we moved, we filled the second bedroom with all the misc. boxes and all my good bras are still buried in the room...someplace...yet to be found. At least that is what I hope.... that they were not all tossed.

So actually, the lady I saw this morning was me.... I need to go on a mission and find my bras!!!! or buy some new ones....

Ladies,  Don't let this be you..... standing there looking like your 18 hours have expired!

**winks from me!!!!

She SHOOTS.... She SCORES!!!!!

Here's another one for you..... (can you tell I loved hockey as a kid) "You will miss 100% of the goals that you don't take." -- Wayne Gretsky

I love that.... don't try-don't achieve. Try-do. Seems simple...Right.... It goes back to the journey of a thousand miles...begins with one step. I totally believe that the journey I am on, started with just ONE step. Period, end of story. It took me, myself and I...making the commitment of just that first step. I am here...I am on it... I have started... I am starting everyday...as if it was the first day...and am trying to not get side railed by other stuff. Whether it be just the junk my brain has been telling me for the last 42 years or the fact that in my mind and to my eyes the steps look un-attainable. 

Thinking of that..... I have been walking each night...and around our condo complex...it goes up hill during the first 50 yards or so... it gets your heart pumping and then the second half is down a bigger hill. I could go the other way..and take the big hill first...although I don't think my body could take it yet. I choose the smaller hill first... for now.

Have you ever wondered about people who climb Mt. Everest.... I wonder why they WANT to do it? As I stated before I get winded going up the short hill I do now. I can't imagine what it would be like to go up hill for days and days at a time...knowing that you might die in the process because of the conditions of the mountain and the cold... etc...

Wait.... I do know what's it's like.... It's like the battle I am on a mission of ....TODAY... a battle of not being able to see an end yet....but I will someday. An up hill climb...all the way to the top. You can't quit... just keep climbing.... The reward is GREAT if I just stick to it!

It's all ONE STEP AT A TIME!!!!!